Reality Election
Reality Election

Monday, Apr. 19, 2004, 5:19 p.m.

Ok, so here's what I think.

24 million people voted last week for American Idol.

105,405,100 people (give or take some 130,000 write-ins) voted in the 2000 Presidential Election.

So here's what I say we do.

Put them on TV. The candidates. Kerry VS Bush, live! Let them perform and then give the numbers.

"Okay America! Remember, if you would like to keep your favorite in the race, you HAVE to VOTE!

If Senator Kerry is your choice dial 1-866-KERRY-04.

For Bush dial 1-866-DUBYA-04.

Or if you're an At&T Wireless subscriber, you can text the word VOTE to 53779 for Kerry or 38292 for Dubya!

Remember, the only way to see your favorite in the White House is to VOTE!"

Or even better yet, let's put each candidate with their cronies in a remote village in Afghanistan or Iraq and challenge them to stay alive! We'll watch what they do and give them bonus points if they catch Osama or if they allow a service person to go home in their place. We'll make them do tasks like "Lie in a Coffin with Millions of Sand Fleas" or "Eat Scorpions and Camel Testicles". Then we'll vote them off! I can just hear it now, and I pray that I will:

"Dubya, the tribe has spoken. Please leave immediately."

And then we will have to watch some horrible tribute tape of his time, which will surely include footage of the WTC over and over again and will certainly include the word "evildoers". And then it will be over until he or one of his clones auditions again in 2008.

Thursday, Mar. 18, 2004, 3:35 p.m.

Like it's my berfday, cause it is. 32 today. My first birthday with a baby. Kind of a strange way to mark it I guess, but I suppose that birthdays will become more important in the relatively near future what with a kid around to get excited about that kind of thing. I hope he gets excited anyway, because I think birthdays are a good thing.

Oddly enough, I wasn't terribly excited about mine this year until it actually got here. Now I like it. I hit the 10 lbs lost mark today as well and that's nice, even though it should be more, but hey, 10 is 10, right?

I'm not bitching.

I don't really have anything to bitch about. Life is good and I'm heading out of town (so come rob my house)for a few days to just enjoy some relaxation. I'm on Spring Break, dontcha know?

So hey, Happy Birthday to Me.

Monday, Mar. 08, 2004, 4:24 p.m.

Here's a new church sign:

Your life is a test. Are you passing?

Doesn't that just totally suck?

Oh but it gets better. I saw this bumper sticker on Friday:

My Son Nick is Waiting for me in Heaven.

Wow. Isn't that awful? I've never lost a child but I have seen loss do strange things to people (think open casket for a child who died in utero) and I can't imagine the pain. I don't want to. Thing is, I don't know that I would have the gumption to have bumper stickers printed up. Lord!

I can't decide whether it is unbelievably tacky or just overwhelmingly sad.

Either way, I don't get comforted by it and I wonder if the owner of the minivan does every time she reads it. Does it serve as a reminder?