Just Wondering
Just Wondering

Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003, 3:43 p.m.

Yeah, so I did actually update last week, but as I went to post it the Diaryland server was down and I lost the whole thing. I was some pissed too because it was a good entry. I suppose that just getting to say what I needed to say should suffice, but that means that you, my adoring public, don't get to be privy to my thoughts of the day. Sigh!!

The war is all over everywhere. I used to like to listen to this AM talk radio host on the way home from work because I like his sharp knife to the ribcage kind of style, but I just can't stomach conservative radio right now. There's no where to turn without getting the play by play and I'm not maybe as interested in the game as everyone else.

I must admit that I admire Michael Moore for his well...balls, but I wonder if there wasn't a more appropriate way to call out the President.

Is it time to put my humming bird feeders back up yet? I long for spring.

The baby is growing like a weed, or at least it sure feels like it. He's thumping and kicking and rolling and bobbing and weaving. I think we've narrowed down the name. Don't think I'm ready to tell yet. It's an exciting time, knowing that life is going to change in such a dramatic way in a few short months. What will he look like? Where will he take us? What will he see in his lifetime that I haven't even imagined? I really can't imagine. It might not be good.

And what will I become in his presence? How will his life shape mine?

That's All I Have.

Tuesday, Mar. 04, 2003, 1:47 p.m.

I am a recent convert to The Morning News. It has been kind of hit or miss for me, but folks, I gotta tell you, this story gave me a much needed chuckle during one of my crappiest days in recent record.

And speaking of laughing, if you're in the mood to cruise the net, you ought to check out Dave Barry's Blog.

My analogy for today:

Some people are like that big wad of cash that people carry around to make you think they are wealthy. It's the big bills on the outside that convince you that there might be much more than there really is. Once you get past the flash, you discover that the wad is really stacked with small, petty, common one dollar bills. Still spendable, but not nearly what you expected.

Some people are like pomegranates. On the outside, the pomegranate is beautifully colored with smooth skin that looks like it ought to be the fruit itself. But as you become familiar with the fruit, you know that it is something you want to open up. You have to break through the skin to get to the real fruit. The small but beautiful, shiny, juicy seeds inside that can surprise you with their sweetness and succulence.

I am not having a pomegranate self image day.

On second thought, maybe I am, because as I remember it, for every one of those shiny seeds that you devour, you have to spend another month in hell.

Tuesday, Feb. 25, 2003, 3:49 p.m.

So you simply must check this story about the offensive snow woman

What is with people? I bet the guy who complained about this is a closet web porn cruiser. Since when are boobs considered offensive? And don't snowmen have boobs? You just can't see them as well, right?

At any rate, before I get on that soapbox, I've got another I'm already tap-dancing on.

I must say that I am quite enjoying the slightly warmer weather we've been experiencing around here lately. As usual, the daffodils are budding way too early because apparently they have forgotten about the cold snap that we have every March. Poor, forgetful daffodils.

Everyone is taking advantage of the weather. Parks are filling up, bike trails are once again inhabited by the weekenders, dogs are walked more often, and even I'm stepping out onto the deck now and again to enjoy the evening. And of course, my favorite advantage takers of all time are also out again in full force. They are the "homeless" guys who stand out on the freeway off ramp holding their "Hungry, Please Help" and "Why Lie, I Need a Beer!" signs. Every evening and every morning I see them. There are different people there every time and the cynic in me wonders if they all might be working together and splitting the "earnings".

This morning the guy was more questionable than usual. Dressed in old jeans and a fatigue jacket, big duffel bag by his side, hair back in a pony tail underneath a camouflage ball cap, he just looked a little too homeless. I was immediately struck by the urge to go and yank on his pony tail to see if it would come off in my hand to reveal the super gelled, slicked back hair cut of a mortgage broker or some other financial wizard who's figured out that he makes more money in one day of panhandling than he does counting other people's beans all week.

I completely blame Stephen King's Hearts in Atlantis for this urge to expose the weasel. Like Tom Robbins before him, Stephen King chipped away at a little more of my naivet� about life and the intentions of people with his characters, particularly this one I mention who went to work every morning dressed as an executive and emerged as a Vietnam Vet who collected $3000 a day and his wife was never the wiser - she just liked the money and never questioned.

Is it sad, I wonder, that this is my thought process when I see someone collecting on the street?

No sadder than calling the police to report an obscene snow person.

Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003, 4:11 p.m.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think my husband is on the verge of a new career. I'm not going to jinx it, but I'll just say that I don't think they waste the time of the main HR dude or the resources to get you to come back and perform a skills test if they ain't interested in you - know what I'm saying? That's all I have to say about that.

In other news, Joshua (who is having a really good week, now that I think about it) felt the baby move for the first time last night. The little guy was just kicking and rolling up a storm last night and Dad finally got to feel it! It was very exciting!

The baby actually moves quite a bit now. "They" say that it is supposed to feel like fluttering or something, but in my experience, it has been thumping and rolling and pretty strong feelings since I started to recognize them. He's a pretty active kid, this one. That should be fun when he makes it to the outside. I'm looking forward to seeing him. I spend a pretty good amount of time wondering what he will look like. I hope he looks like Joshua.

I'm damn sick of hearing about war.

Call me apathetic, unpatriotic, communist, whatever, but I really, really hate the idea of going to war. Especially a war that seems unprovoked and unsupported by people. Important people like the UN - not just my generation of doe eyed, never fought a real war before, materialistic, peace lovers.

Mostly I am just selfish and tired of being made to feel like I need to board up my windows and buy a gas mask. Perhaps I do, but I don't appreciate being made to feel scared so that I will support something I am even more scared of.

Anyway, I don't like to think about that too much, it was just on my mind a bit.

Friday, Feb. 14, 2003, 5:29 p.m.

It's that time of year again!!

Hallmark holiday that some boys identify as the Super Bowl for women. Now I've never been much for trying to make it into such a big deal, but I have had some great Valentine's Day happenings in my life, not all of which have been about love necessarily.

In all fairness, we should have a "Single Person's Day" or maybe an "Independence From Coupledom Day". You know, some day when you get presents for being single. Someone should buy you jewelry for not caving or settling or for being discriminating. That's what I think.

On a totally unrelated topic, Joshua has a job interview on Monday morning! I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I don't mind saying that I think his chances are pretty good, seeing how everything went down. I'm pulling for him! He so deserves to finally be in a place where he is happy. So if you're not doing anything on Monday at 9:00 AM, send some good vibes his way, will you?

Much obliged.

Thursday, Feb. 06, 2003, 3:53 p.m.

I want my headache to go away and I want kids to listen to what I say and do it without giving me that sullen, "Why are you being so mean?" look.

I want things to be called what they are. For example:

Every gas station on I-16 should be called "Stop-n-Pee", or "Don't Stop Here Unless You Just Want the Clap!".

Sudafed should be called "Doesn't Work Worth a Damn".

I want to open a restaurant called "Schlongs" where all the waiters are men in tight shorts. I might even make them tie the shorts in the back so as to better show the special of the day. I will come up with some fancy logo that will somehow incorporate dick imagery. Perhaps make a penis out of the "l" and balls from the "o" and "h"? And it will be a totally women oriented restaurant. We'll serve TONS of chocolate, dessert, pastries, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and any other comfort food we can think of and all the televisions will be tuned to Lifetime, Oxygen or Women's Entertainment. We'll organize huge events around Trading Spaces and Baby/Dating/Wedding Story marathons. There will, of course be a full bar - with no crappy ass wine coolers or light beer - and I will most certainly pirate the Krispy Kreme Sundae idea from ESPN zone because you KNOW a woman created that!! And since they've taken it off the menu, I guess I can have it. Three Krispy Kremes warmed in a skillet, topped with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and caramel sauces and sliced strawberries. Schlongs will most certainly have that on the menu. And of course, ladies will be encouraged to ogle and harass the wait staff because these guys ought to expect that when they come to work there.

I also want to go on vacation. Somewhere warm. Somewhere where I don't know anyone but my husband and I don't have to take the dogs. Somewhere where there is water. Blue water.

I want for people who need constant drama to shut the fuck up and do something to make their lives better. I want people to be grateful for what they have and stop whining about what's wrong with life all the time! I'm all for whining. Just not about all things at all times.

I want my head to stop hurting.